Soap is not a condiment
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
