Fuck appropriateness.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
