So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
