if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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