Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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