I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
