she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
