So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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