can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
