I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
