Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
