Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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