I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
