I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my being single is dangerous.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
