There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
