How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
