Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
