the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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