Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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