i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
