She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
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