this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
