marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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