Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
