i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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