we have officially lost it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
