One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
