We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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