It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
