i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
