how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
