I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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