can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
