i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
