There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
