I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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