she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
