Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
