I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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