Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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