hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
