he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
