Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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