that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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