I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
