i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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