I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
