You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
