i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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