there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
